I no longer get loud or overly irate to matters in my life anymore. I have learned to take my time and be rational to the concepts of life and how to figure out solutions through logic instead of negative emotions. I used to be impulsive to try to get ahead or even before someone could sabotage me. Now I clear my mind and relax and humble myself to having things work itself out. I am not being lazy but allowing things manifest out accordingly. Calmness also is a way of giving patience which is of the essence. I don't understand the way life is supposed to go, so I reset my mindset into processing things on a more quieter and calmer aspect. Everything is not always meant to make sense sometimes. 

We is so connected to the technology world that we do not even realize that it is the same dynamics of how we actually function in life. We always want our devices and gadgets to be protected which is the safety but that also applies to us as humans too. We practice safety tips everywhere and especially in a work environment. The devices and gadgets needs the internet to connect to the world and humans always have to connect with someone so having that bond is like internet connection. The most important concept of the technology is making sure that the authenticity is secured so that you do not give access to untrustworthy sources. This applies to the humans as a way of us connecting to right people who have positive vibes. If the connection is interrupted then you loss out on what could be the most imaginable moment and then you lose everything. 

a"Meme" said it first

When abuse to someone else is something of normalcy because they is living life they want to and fail to validate other's feelings. 

People pleaser is a acquired skill from not wanting to treat others with disrespect. The problem is people take advantage of the situation and make you become their vice and get royal treatment when they do not even deserve it. The fact that your soul do indulge in negativity, you tolerate things that you know deep within you do not approve of, hence losing yourself. Then when you stand up and face them and let them know that you is tired of their negativity affecting you, and set boundaries, they start to find other victims to torment. 

I was wondering why every time I was going hard to get my education and applying to all these jobs and things was not coming together like it used to, that maybe I need to take a pause and figure out why. I came to the conclusion that I was not going after my own passions but trying to find ways to survive and not live happily. I started to feel like at first a complete failure and was not good enough to help my family when in reality my family was not suffering, but I was. I need to fulfill my happiness to ensure that I can continue nurturing them with my genuine love for them to live like there is nothing but happiness. 

This year I recognized my strength. I did not think it was me being strong but my vulnerable weakness but that was wrong. It was me not allowing others take away the what I developed throughout the years since a child is my heart to share love. I do not allow negativity to live within me because that is something that should not be within when it something that is surrounding us. I do not want people to feel like how I been feeling lately because it is horrible and sad. But it does not stop my ambitious soul to continue to live on and strive and thrive for my family's pursue of happiness. 

The process of healing is lonely and hurtful. To actually see people treat the ones that they say they love so neglectfully is traumatizing. The process of actually understanding that it is them and not you so you have to rebuild your confidence because you realize that you is still the ish. It is rewarding to see the uniqueness in yourself to develop back into the person who still hold on strong. The reward will be something that someone can not take away and that is your inner beautiful soul. 

People may wear the same size shoe and not walk the same path. They may even wear the same shoe but the feel is different. Do not let people make you believe that you should have known how a person was abusing you. When you care for people with genuine love, it over shadows the negative effects until it is too late to step back and recover. It is until all the evidence is staring at you in your face and you have to decide how you is going to mend from this disappointment. How could someone that you gave up everything (yourself) for and still for them to treat you like it was just a devious game to trap you and control you?

When I read this "meme" on one of my social media sites, I felt like I could relate to those words the moment I finished the sentence. I can say that this quote reminds me of myself manifesting from past experiences and building my future, I have made some tough decisions that could resulted in many different outcomes. I am blessed to be here at my current status and be able to try hard to make less tough decisions. But this is life, my life. Those past experiences has given me my life lessons and also helped me develop problem solving skills. Problem solving is not a skill that is only for work or career opportunities but also life. Being that I am at the age I am now, I should know general right and wrong aspects but I did not know it all. People may have comments about me from my childhood to now but that journey had an objective. Dealing with humans that did not believe my existence was relevant. I am working on a better me the best way I can or find the knowledge to know how. Here I am learning, developing, manifesting, growing, and healing me.

In life when I experienced good, bad, worst and best moments, I only wanted to keep the happy and best memories and experiences. I do not want to relive the bad and worst days because it mentally damaged me to the point that I lost focus on myself. Now I take every moment of my life as an opportunity to live with happiness and prosperity. The brain always keep storage so each memory and moment is filed away or destroyed and disappear. I am blessed to be able to share my life stories because living is the only way to do that. I pray for longevity of life but with achievements, success, prosperity, and happiness. I am not saying the bad and worst is over but I want to endure all of my moments. 

This hit my inner home. The home of my internal soul where I could relate to the meaning of this quote. The way my past memories of the battles I conquered or is still trying to conquer. I ran and still is running the biggest battles of my life trying to figure out strategies to win. When it is internal, nobody believes that I am facing a battle. The outcome of my life hood battles could have resulted in many different ways. The outcome that was provided for me lead to be here today, continuing my journey. I believe that I am doing fine. 

Healing is not just for open body wounds, it's for internal mental health too. No matter the trauma, it's still a wound that requires a healing treatment as well. Like with any wound left untreated, it could lead to complications that may need emergency assistance. Unlike feeling the physical pain of a body wound, the pain is emotional. My current healing treatment is in session and I may not know how long the healing process may be but I know that it is required. My healing process should not affect others but if it shall then their opinions may be heard but not included. 

Lately the motto on "taking it one day at a time", has been on auto tune in my way of handling life. I used to be so quick to make a decision without planning it out because my mind fast-forwarded instead of seeing the now. I believed that I was being proactive but some of my outcome's feedback proved to me that it was invalid. Now with my status currently, I had no choice but to slow down and take it little by little, I became a mother and wife. Those roles require attention, understanding, love, and care. I strive forward each day embracing my opportunities no matter how big or small. 

This "meme" speaker is at the highest volume that I can not think of anything more to add. It is what the quote said it is. Thank you for speaking so loudly. 

The adult in me see that I did not want the child I lived to be. I believed that was the life I needed but did not yearn for. My journeys throughout life had shown me the vision board that I deserved. Innocence of someone whose life was derailed because of unfortunate mishaps. I became an adult and now I have children who needs protection. My faith has led me to find the lessons to teach them how to protect themselves and their innocence. (Emotionally)

I wish i would have known this before it happened. I wish I was more aware of your intentions so I could have protected myself sooner. I thought I already knew everything but didn't know anything. I later on found out the deception but it was already too late. I was already entrapped and had to find out the truth the hard way. That part of my my life is torn and will have a permanent scar as it heals. 

The healing process is long and excessive. My mindset was redirected towards wanting more positivity in my life for myself and family. The reality of facing what I did throughout my 30+ years was overwhelming and hurtful but yet knowledgeable of what I should have been expected. My new goals and pursuing my new dreams without people that damaged me is the most satisfying reward. I live and pray everyday for the guidance of positive energy to surpass the negative energy in order to reach my life's journey. 

Rejections, failures, miscommunication, and being misunderstood gave me feedback that made me at one point, I was not enough. I did not include good because that part was not identified. These were impressions being impersonated by people who had their own self-doubts and indecisive perspectives of themselves. When I began my healing process, I started to see the reality of me. I started to see my qualities and skills within myself that keeps me thriving with my family everyday. I am more humble but also aware of people having their own issues and it does not always have to include me or my family. I learned to love myself for the woman that I have become to this day. I am no longer allowing criticism of the unknown to jeopardize my present and future expectations.  

According to my husband, I have many dreams. To be honest, I do not think that will ever stop me from dreaming more and making them even bigger. I have a vision board for my life with my family that I am determined to achieve. It is a process and I will continue without losing focus on the present. I want to live life and not think that we need to survive life. I pray to LIVE life and since it's my life with my family package that is included, I want nothing but the best.

Throughout my years of life, I constantly hear people reminisce about my past activities of my life. The memories always tend to be my most embarrassing moments or moments that I wish I could have handled differently. I may shake my head or just stare at them because people tend to dwell on the negative more than the positive. It is like it is hard to believe that maturity could reset one's mindset into the transitions of becoming a better version of yourself. Some may fall victim like I did, trying to defend the woman that I am reconciling with different development in myself. The only thing I need to accept is myself. I know for sure that I have overcome some trials and tribulations and still continue on my journey. I am already accepting myself.

Happiness can only be produced by the individual that seeks it. Many find ways of achieving their happiness while others is still searching. Maybe try acceptance of yourself. I am processing this feature and allowing my happiness to stay afloat. Not always being in control of everything in your environment is a possibility. Acceptance is not to be confused as a pawn in someone's chess game but realizing your worth to YOURSELF! Believing in yourself is the most rewarding achievement of pursuing your happiness!!